“All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players,” Shakespeare once said. The more conscious I become, the more clearly I see: life is a game that reflects our inner world through the surrounding reality, like mirrors.
For me, this retreat was about honesty with myself. I came feeling tired of constant service and giving. The Master reminded me: the inhale must be equal to the exhale. I, however, had lost this balance, exhaling more than inhaling. Of course, the responsibility for this lies with me.
During the retreat I realized that for a long time I had lived in a state of struggle — for justice, for being the best, for changing the world for the better. Nine years ago, when I was just beginning my spiritual path with the master, I asked her about my purpose. Her answer was simple: “To carry light and to be light.” At the time I did not understand this, and inside I wondered: “Is that all?” I wanted to do more, to leave a mark on the world.
For five years I worked at UNICEF, protecting children’s rights. And when our family business came under threat, we fought for justice. I tried to change my family and loved ones so that they would become happier — as if I were trying to catch up with them and make them happy. But perhaps not everyone even needed that. Only now, having walked this path to myself, have I realized that the world does not need my struggle — it needs acceptance and unconditional love.
A little about the retreat itself. We lived in the heart of Tuscany, in an old house with a beautiful view of picturesque hills. Lenochka and Sanzhey, the organizers of the retreat, took care of us every day: they cooked delicious meals and took us to the little towns nearby. As the master said, in each place we healed and completed the unfinished stories of our souls, letting the energy of light and love pass through us in accordance with the law of the One.
The first place of power we went to was the Basilica of Saint Francis of Assisi. Francis was a Catholic saint, an enlightened master and the founder of the Order of Friars Minor. Instead of long descriptions, allow me to share his prayer:
Lord, make my hands an expression of Your peace,
and where there is hatred, let me bring Love,
and where there is injury, let me bring Forgiveness,
and where there is discord, let me bring Unity,
and where there is error, let me bring Truth,
and where there is doubt, let me bring Faith,
and where there is despair, let me bring Hope,
and where there is darkness, let me bring Light,
and where there is sorrow, let me bring Joy.
Help me, Lord,
not so much to seek to be consoled as to console,
not so much to seek to be understood as to understand,
not so much to seek to be loved as to love.
For whoever gives — receives,
whoever forgets themselves — finds themselves again,
whoever forgives — is forgiven,
whoever dies — is reborn into Eternal life.
Help me, then, Lord,
make my hands an expression of Your peace
Having connected with the spirit of this place, having blessed it and received blessings, we continued on our way.
With the group we visited Rome, the Vatican and Florence. Each place had its own vibrations — and not everywhere did they feel easy. In some places we forgave, healed or retrieved lost energy. But I felt unconditional love and bliss especially vividly on the island of Archangel Michael, where we meditated.
Before, I sought to visit places of power in order to experience this bliss. But now I understand that the essence of life lies not only in seeking bliss, but in maintaining a high level of vibration in everyday life while being aware of the whole palette of emotions. True mastery is remaining in harmony — not running away from feelings, but living through them consciously.
This morning I felt irritation, but I realized where it came from, observed it and returned to a state of peace. After a while, causeless happiness came to me. My husband went out to meet his friends, and I put on some music and began dancing at home alone, enjoying the moment. Since we have come into this world and are creators, all that remains for us is to create our own unique, fantastic reality. Of course, this state did not arise in me overnight: it is 9 years of my spiritual path with the master, of constantly watching my thoughts so that my brain would not make up all sorts of nonsense for me. And also honesty with myself and trust in life — which I am still learning.
I want to wish each of you reading these lines to come to inner balance and create your own fantastic reality. I have stumbled more than once, but each time I got up and continued on my way. Now, looking back on my path, I feel joy and gratitude. I am not enlightened yet, and I am in no hurry — let everything take its course. There are still plenty of treats in this world that I want to try.
And I also want to express my gratitude to the master for this beautiful path to myself, for the inner freedom toward which I am steadily moving.
Special thanks to Lenochka for organizing this retreat, for your great love and care for people. And to our whole Italian team, who came together on both the physical and the subtle planes.
With respect and love to everyone
Nurgul